Everyone knows that the first sports match was held by the Greeks. They performed most of these games absolutely naked to ensure maximum ‘Sky’ coverage and massive audience figures.
They even took part and won the Games without the use of today’s performance-enhancing drugs or the organisation’s flouting of punishments for those that did. Like that cheating, no-good cyclist and his mate.
This summer, the Olympics Games are being held in London. One of the things that ‘London 2012′ has already given us is paid sponsorship. This means that even my publication of the famous Olympic rings logo (above) on this satirical blog has contravened one of Seb Coe’s golden rules.
The other thing that ‘Seb Coe’s Flying Circus’ has offered us is a lack of tickets for ‘track and field’ events.
The majority of these seats were sold to celebrities and large corporations months ago to pay for the cement pillars that hold the stadium roof up and nails to hold the Velodrome laminate flooring down.
So basically, if you haven’t got a wad of cash or a high-profile celebrity reputation you might as well stay at home or line the street as ‘plebs’ and wave to the rich as they pass by on their way to the first class seats in the Coe Stadium.
However, there are some tickets left for us working classes. These are for the ‘Surface-To-Air Missile Racing’ that could be taking place over our heads during the games to protect Cabinet members and top-flight footballers whilst they watch Usain bolt. (See what I did there?)