The latest consumer product to be demonised by politicians in their war against the fat bums.
With well over half of the population of New York now in the category of ‘obese’, the Mayor of ‘The Big Apple’ is banning the sale of surgery drinks such as full-fat Coca-Cola and pepsi from the shops and takeaways.
This move will no doubt upset the soft drinks industry and at some point include the return of Fat Sam’s ‘bootlegging’ business, the ‘belch ‘n’ speakeasy’ and Eliot Ness’ ‘Unsweetables’.
This train (of thought) would be hilarious if it wasn’t only a question of time before Cameron’s ‘Nanny Squad’ adopts the idea, demands ‘Sprite’ and ‘Fanta’ have plain white labels and hides all of the bottles of the supermarket Coke and Pepsi away in locked cupboards so the ‘lardy bums’ can’t get to them.
‘Government Health Warning: Drinking this bottle of ‘highly-sugared belch water’ may eventually give the people walking behind you the feeling that they are in a small rowing boat trying to slowly navigate themselves around the keel of the ‘QM2′. May also cause drowsiness in Ken Clarke of Megabuckshire’.
All of which will no doubt result in yet another ‘u-turn’ as people up and down the country complain that they have nothing to wash their cornish pasty down with.
We have had so many u-turns this week that all of Osborne’s last budget speech has quickly turned into a high speed, ‘foot-on-the-brake, steering straight to the far left, handbrake up… ‘Handbrake turn’.
Remind me please. Who’s driving this country now? Is it ‘Bodie or Doyle?