‘Excuse me Madam…. Can you tell the difference between ‘Stork’ and ‘Butter’?
‘Across a crowded room, one guest spots her husband with a grin on his face boldly striding towards a waiter of Asian extraction’.
‘Are you with the bride or groom’s party?’ asks the newly-arrived American catering manager.
The Queen only gains access to her own State Banqueting Hall by demonstrating to security staff the face she wears on stamps and banknotes.