A sort of a ‘Housewives Choice’ Hadron Collider.
A small electronic, radioactive particle accelerator that for the past thirty five years has very much been part of the domestic white goods industry.
In 1979 they were as big and as heavy as a 26 inch cathode-ray television. Delivering one up the garden path whilst dodging the dog and the discarded skateboard resulted in, at best, a rupture and a whole lifetime’s use of a surgical appliance.
Such was the blissful ignorance of the housewife in those days that one often tried cooking eggs in their shell in them or perfectly sealed ‘boil in the bag products. Often placing the food on a mirrored plate before cooking.
My very first microwave cooker (purchased in 1979) ended up firing a vicious looking infer-red beam down onto the plastic base of the oven, burning a perfectly round hole through the plastic and onto the metal casing below. It truly was exterminated Dalek style. True!
Nowadays thanks to silicon chips they are much safer and are about the same size and weight as a bank chairman’s wallet.
The voodoo radar magic involved in the Microwave oven’s cooking process has always ensured that the china plate containing the pie remains as cold as a penguin’s todger, whilst the innocent looking gravy contained within the pie is hot as erupting volcanic lava.
Therefore the three main aims of any Microwave oven in a kitchen is to provide it with yet another clock, bathe the stainless steel sink in a nightime lime green radioactive-looking glow and to strip a visitor’s tongue down to the bone in less than a second.
