These gardens were designed by Tommy Walsh, Charlie Dimmock and Alan Titchmarsh in 600BC.
The ancient gardens got their name through a reduced BBC programme budget, Titchmarsh’s love of the hanging basket and Tommy Walsh’s ease at nailing a hook to a wall.
The gardens were constructed in just two days whilst King Nebuchadnezzer was out of town on a bit of business.
His wife, fed up to the back teeth with nothing but endless sand dunes, called the BBC and asked for ‘Ground Force’ to come and surprise his royal highness with a brand new garden.
Sadly the hanging baskets barely lasted two weeks due to the intense lack of water.
However Dimmock’s water feature lasted a few more more weeks until its pump finally burnt out. The water feature having ran dry two days after the BBC had left the country.
It was a miracle that it was built at all when one considers the paradox between the fundamentalist Islamic approach to ladies clothing and Dimmock’s preference to wear a very tight t-shirt and no bra.
God knows where the gardens are now. They were buried and cemented over years ago to make way for the A9671 Baghdad Ring Road.
The Gardens of Babylon should to be confused with the BBC television series, ‘Hotel Babylon’. The latter being a load of old rose garden manure.
Towards the end of its third series, ‘Hotel Babylon’ viewers were as scarce as a G4S security officer turning up for the ‘London 2012 Games’.
By the rivers of Babylon…. where he sat down…. and yeah he wept…. cos he had left his iron on.. (Boney M)
