It remains unknown if Mary Pickles is in anyway related to Eric, the stealth-like voice of reason whenever a treble chin is required on ‘Newsnight’, but Mary Pickles is clearly quite a girl!
Twice a month from 11pm until 3am, 87-year-old Mary is one the Christian street pastors who regularly patrol Burnley town centre when everyone else out on the street is as pissed as a newt.
Mary hands out jelly babies and flip-flops to near-naked women who can no longer walk in their high heels, order taxis for vulnerable or unconscious drunks and steps in to mediate or offer them a toke on her peace pipe whenever a large group of testosterone-fuelled males start debating which of them has the longest todger.
These acts of selfless devotion has earned her the nickname of ‘Mother Theresa of Burnley’.
It remains to be seen if the Pope will beattify her like he has her ‘namesake’ but as the brave octogenarian slips on her black boots, secures her baseball cap, zips up her jacket and heads out towards the two-metre high stiletto heels, overpowering aftershave and booming music of Burnley on a Saturday night, one can easily see why she should at least be considered.