Today almost every doctor in Britain is asking the government to heavily tax every saturated fat and sugar laden item that Britons choose to stick down their gullet and add to the obesity epidemic.
Of course there’s a lot of saturated fat in ‘Indian’ takeaways but David Cameron is keen to invest in Indian businesses in Britain so we’ll gloss over that bit.
As you know this ‘tax’em high’ idea worked perfectly when they heavily taxed tobacco and pumped more money back into the NHS.
In fact, you hardly ever see anyone smoking these days or hear of anyone dying from a smoking-related disease. You never hear of bootleg, smuggled, underground and dangerous tax-free cigarettes in Britain, do you? So the doctors got it right then. Why not again?
Likewise, the medical equipment one sometimes sees standing idle in NHS hospital corridors and the highly-polished BMW’s parked in the hospital’s administration parking bays were probably all provided via the british government’s implementation of the tobacco tax. Even more reasons to tax fatty foods and rake even more in.
If it costs fools who stick fat-laden pizzas, fried chips and highly-sugared drinks down their throat an extra 20p in every £1 to eat the crap, then at least they will be paying for their own gastric bands and endless adrenaline shots. NHS items that they will all undoubtably need in a few years time.
And the extra revenue will guarantee the continued provision of updated BMWs in the car park, public school-run SUV’s and family food on the table of many who work in the NHS. Namely, hospital administrators, managers and the doctors calling for a new 20% tax on ‘Lardy Bums’.
If the Lardy Bums buy fatty food then that’s more cash for the doctors… and if they get fitter and don’t eat saturated fats, then the doctors won’t have to spend so much time at work and have even more time to play squash and sit in their box at the Oval to watch England win the Ashes… again!
Sorry folks, but the vultures always gather around the biggest carcass.
And if you eat a lot of highly saturated fats and guzzle gallons of highly-sugared drinks… then you probably have a very big carcass. Look above your head, my friends. Can you not see them? They’ll have ‘NHS’ tattooed on the underside of their wings.
‘A Giga-Coke and a Mega-burger please.’