A news story that can only come out of somewhere rural like ‘Midsomer Norfolk’.
‘Axel’ is a 7 stone black labrador owned by the 33 year old Norfolk reed roofer, Richard Houghton. (No relation to David, who is of course the churchwarden of Dibley Parish Church).
‘Axel’ likes nothing more than being carried up to the top of the roof where he no doubt hangs on for all his life until Richard the roofer carries him down again.
See it as a ‘That’s Life’ sort of story. You know… just after the article about the carrot shaped like a male organ or that old lady standing in her thick coat outside of ‘Timothy Whites’ and laughing like a drain about nothing at all.
Of course, one could look at this story more as a ‘Health & Safety’ issue. Not least in the possibility that ‘Axel’ will break his back or neck if he falls. (I’m assuming the roofers have safety equipment in place to save them from doing the same?).
Then of course there is the issue of someone breaking their neck if they are hit by a plummeting 7-stone dog. By the time he hits the ground, he will be a whole lot heavier on a human spine.
I’m assuming this stupid story was started by some idiot ringing into the local radio station and telling what’s laughingly described as ‘the host’ that they have just seen a large black dog on someone’s roof.
Ruddy heck! Have the local newsrooms sunk so low that they feel they now have to add animal cruelty and building construction industry stupidity to its long list of ‘And Finally…’ items?
Do they not see such antics as animal cruelty?
Why not strap dogs who like hanging their head out of a car window to a roof rack and then they can enjoy the full 100% power of the wind? I mean, they seem to enjoy it, don’t they! Let race horses jump damn great fences at Aintree? After all, they seem to enjoy it, don’t they!
Next week: A Formula 1 driver prepares to take his cat to Monte Carlo where it is to accompany him in his Lotus during the Monaco Grand Prix.
Apparently the cat is as happy as ‘Larry’ whenever its placed somewhere where it can travel like a lunatic with a firework up its bum and where injury or death stalks closely behind its back paws. Hey! It’s got ‘nine lives’ too!
