who art in prison
Mother knows his name
His chavdom come,
His shoplifting done
In JJB Sports, as it is in Poundland.
Give us this day our welfare bread
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we are happy to thump anyone who gives evidence against us.
And lead us not into employment
But deliver us into ‘free housing’.
For thine is the Jeremy Kyle-dom,
The Burberry and the Galaxy,
For ever and ever