(Please feel free to copy & paste this information into your school homework book).
Winston Churchill was the totally fictitious, deer-stalker wearing, cigar-smoking, bi-polar, wartime amateur detective created by Sir Michael Conan Gove.
Churchill can always be found by ‘making your way down Baker Street’. In the flat next door (also situated at 221b) lived his best friend, Doctor Gerry Rafferty. But they weren’t gay or anything. His mate actually had a wife later on (just to silence the whispers at the time, of course.)
During his investigations he would often smoke an old chewed-up cigar, refer to his wife a lot.., and shortly before ending a conversation would say to the interviewee, ‘Oh.,, just one more thing….’
Scotland Yard’s finest coppers often called on him to solve murders and ‘what-have-you’ just before taisering some git or shooting pepper spray into their own eyes because they had got the canister the wrong way round.
The character of ‘Churchill’ displayed nothing of the ‘backstabbing little sh!te bag’ persona of his creator.
Sir Michael Conan (the Librarian) Gove ended up killing Churchill off at the height of his fame by pushing him over the ‘Viagra Falls’ with some other bloke with a name that suggested Mafia involvement.
But a few months later he, desperately needing funding and publicity for an unexpected Conservative Party leadership race, brought Churchill back to life through a series of totally unbelievable explanations and lengthy narrative.
(Footnote: Winston Churchill is not to be confused with ‘Mr Bump’, ‘Mr Happy’, ‘Mr Benefit-Cheat’, ‘Mr Euro Sceptic’ or ‘Sherlock Holmes’. All of whom are real people in history and whose life and career is often focussed on in the English Baccalaureate and mentioned frequently in school OFSTED inspection reports)
